How to cook a beef burger....

... or not as the case maybe!!!

Mid September to Mid November is a busy Birthday period for me, having at least one party to attend each week - sorry invite to a party each week! Rarely make the party as nearly always on a Saturday night - when I'm working! And they call themselves friends! This means I end up taking birthday person out on a Sunday , normally for something to eat. Now being a Chef the one question I'm guaranteed to be asked is "Do you get over critical when going out for food ?" To which my response is "No, not really! I do think you get what you pay for! I only get really critical if going for fine dining meals." So the majority of my eating out is done in pubs and all in all my rule stands, you get what you pay for! That is up until Sunday! My v. good friend J had birthday I missed yet again (bloody work!) so we met up on Sunday for few drinks and a bite to eat. Being Sunday night and she still recovering from a "hectic" birthday weekend we thought we'd go chill in local bar she said did good burgers. Looking back I can now see were I went wrong - her idea of a good burger involves no beef or any meat in fact as she is a weirdo - sorry, vegetarian - so she would have NO IDEA what the burgers would taste like!! OH MY GOD is all I can say! OH MY GOD! How can one human being do something so terrible to something so simple! Burgers are supposed to taste of something, hopefully beef - but this was the most none descript piece of thing I ever tasted. It actually made a McDonalds burger look and taste appetizing. It was the greyest, thinnest driest piece of meat I have ever seen, cardboard would of been an improvement. Burgers are supposed to be red, thick and juicy - coming from real cows! I can't believe people actually enjoy eating something like that or cooking it, it made school dinners and their turkey twizzlers look appealing! If that wasn't bad enough out came J's desert - a rubber treacle with yellow skin. Always wondered how to make custard that could be picked up in one go with a fork!?!? Ever wondered how these places can produce a pudding it would take you 45 mins to make appear in 4 mins? Thats right the ding box! How can you call yourself a CHEF when all you do is reheat in the magic ding box?!?!? they should be ashamed. And to make it even worse they earn half as much again on what i earn! And all through it could not make a comment as promised J would be happy wherever she wanted to go, so lied through gritted teeth. Love you J x